Dear Diary,

Punkin' signing in... after a long drought of writing to y'all on here.  I have been monitoring the PB - (Prevost Blog) quite often, just haven't taken the moment to write.. until now.  Mom!  I cried when I read your post!! - "I just feel like shutting myself in a room and crying.  I want my house back (and my bed)!!! I'm sure looking forward to Michelle and Nick coming for a visit. I need some cheering up. Love you lots, Mom"  - Well, I can relate to how you feel... I have been pretty stressed out as of late... roommates are filthy (and use vaginal wipes in lieu of toilet paper, which consequentially leaves a grey film in my toilet bowl), $$ is depleting (huge tax return money is officially gone), job is demanding (put in 46 hours last week), not feeling healthy (got fat again), missing Troy (who, since the breakup, has bought a car AND a house, and is on his way to stardom with his music)... etc.. To sum it all up, I'm not where I want to be.  I had a little breakdown last night - you all know what I'm talking about... fell into one of those ever-present 'ruts' in my life... At my weakest, and when I'm at my weakest, I turn to Troy... (BAD idea.. I know).  But just as I was about to write an epic, "I miss you Troy" email, I got a little message from a good friend who, within moments had me smiling again.  He listened to me vent and whine, piss and moan, and pour my heart out... and he helped me see the lighter side.  (And NOT press send on the said 'epic' email to Troy).  Anyways, I am thankful for people like this.  I think I really thrive off knowing that people care about me.  I need to feel loved... and I feel really lonely and worthless when I don't feel loved... anyways.  This guy talked me outta my rut and I managed to get some sleep last night.  But I had the weirdest dream!  Mom, you came and visited me!  It was so vivid!  I was laying here in my bed, crying, and you came and snuggled with me like you used to when I was down and out.  You hugged and consoled me while we talked about everything.  I told you about the whole 'Troy situation' and how my friend had cheered me up... I woke up feeling much better.  

Anyways, 46 hours of work in one week sounds piddly, but when those long days are spent starring at not one, but TWO computer screens, with a headset telephone in your ear, it feels like an eternity of BackCheck.  (If any of you are curious, or have half a minute of your lives to waste, you can google 'BackCheck'... and that is my company... the site explains a lot about what I do and who I work for).  It's been alright... I am volunteering those extra hours I'm putting in.  I like the reference department better than the verifications department.  I'm finally getting my 'productive minutes per hour' up.  Really honing in on my ref taking flow!  haha!  But I was told today that I will be back on verifications soon, as the ref department is finally catching up.  That sucks!  They know how I feel about it... but they aren't going to be hiring any new ver people to replace me in that department anytime soon... so I have to make the adjustment back to ver again... bleck.  Making some good friends at work though!  (all in the ref department)... It's funny, I'm a unique 'half-breed' at BackCheck.  I'm one of the only people who knows how to do both verifications and references... the department head doesn't even have that experience!  haha!  But other than that, I spent tonight with a bottle of wine cleaning out my room.  Still trying to make it look like I actually live here.  I was very productive tonight in that regard!  : )  clean clean clean... that's what I do when I am at home.

Other than that, I have a lot to look forward to - Mertchul's visit in a couple weeks, JL's huge party, Mom getting here, Nicole's baby, and then we are pretty much at Christmas!  wow!  almost a year since I came back to Montreal from South America... weird.

Anyways, how's the varnishing and berry picking thing going??  - You find a reliable contractor yet, Dad?? Maybe you need me to do some 'pre-employment screening' of the next one before you hire... And thanks for the visit last night, Mom!  How is the pregnancy and party planning thing going?? - Thanks for the curtains, Nicole!  I love them! The toilet paper curtains weren't quite keeping the peeping Toms from across the street out.  How's the house hunting thing going?? - Jack tells me that he is taking over your apartment, Krista?? Sweet!  How's the ocean thing going?? - any swimming these days, Mert?? Can't WAIT for you to come here!  It's officially fall.  Beautiful Harvest moon tonight...  

Love you all very much and look forward to seeing you all soonish!! 

Dano